The Selfie (x)

assiest:

sex-doesnt-alarm-me:

assiest:

i am 41 cheetos tall 

Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?

we were out of doritos 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke || Haikyuu!! Episode 6

greatsenpai:

Because an anon requested me to get all the precious faces made by our bubu baby in the manga (●´□`)♡
2/2
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SLICE THEIR PALM TO GET BLOOD. do you know how many nerve endings are in your hand?!?! why don’t they ever cut the back of their arm or their leg or something omfg

me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit  (via jtoday)

WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL

(via jtoday)

and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital 

(via panconkiwi)

That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it

(via gallifrey-feels)

There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it.

(via intheforestofthenight)

yes, mr. action hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.

(via pterriblepterodactyls)

Oh, hey, you there, sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They’re called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you’re putting them all over the fucking place.

(via dawnpuppet)

If something really fucking huge is falling on you, don’t FUCKING RUN ALONG THE LENGTH JUST TAKE LIKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO THE SIDE

(via takshammy)

wEAR A FUCKING HELMET OBERYN YOU LITTLE SHIT

(via brigwife)

ily-mcdonalds:

+Who are you looking forward to seeing?

-My little sister, Jem.

my p a c k  (insp.)

kimpissible:

THERE IS ACTUALLY NOT A BETTER FEELING THEN TO HAVE A BESTFRIEND WHO ALSO THINKS OF U AS THEIR BESTFRIEND

i want to be able to swim on the same team as you with pride, senpai.

mothlikestars:

I’ve just cried laughing at the comments on a Jamie Oliver recipe, there was a typo on the website and everyone put 13 lemons into a pasta sauce and didn’t even question it. Imagine eating 13 lemons, the recipe was for 4 people, imagine having that much trust in Jamie Oliver.

olisupertramp:

this is seriously a realistic representation of a couple that has been together for a long time.

neontreed:

this is the funniest screenshot i ever took while playing animal crossing

neontreed:

this is the funniest screenshot i ever took while playing animal crossing

get to know me meme | [8/10] favorite movies: Death Becomes Her (1992)

"This is life’s ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay."